the-five-facets-of-impact-what-women-dont-know-hurts-us
28th May 2013how-to-get-the-upper-hand-in-a-business-meeting-with-aikido
29th January 2014How does your tone of voice affect communication? What a woman in business needs to know…
What does your tone of voice say about you?
Yesterday on the treadmill at the gym, I watched the Katy Perry ‘Roar’ video as I was slogging up my virtual hill and it got me thinking about how tone of voice is still a bit of a grey zone for professional women.
One of the core traits in mastering executive presence is demonstrating that you are decisive. That comes through in your actions and must be backed up and reflected in your tone of voice.
Yesterday on the treadmill at the gym, I watched the Katy Perry ‘Roar’ video as I was slogging up my virtual hill and it got me thinking about how tone of voice is still a bit of a grey zone for professional women.
One of the core traits in mastering executive presence is demonstrating that you are decisive. That comes through in your actions and must be backed up and reflected in your tone of voice.
The trouble comes when women get passionate about a topic – because our voices go higher and faster. So taking a stand is something that can be tricky for a woman to pull off without coming across as a bitch or veering into ‘shrill’ territory (This dichotomy is brilliantly demonstrated in ‘Iron Lady’ and a clip I use in my Five Facets training courses when we discuss ‘auditory’ presentation – how you show up verbally.)
How to be confident and take a stand without being a ‘bitch’:
- Are you ready to ‘roar’ and make a real decision? If you’re ready to commit you must:
- Plant your feet in the moment of decision – make up your mind and be prepared to defend it;
- Let your voice be heard above the fray – be precise in your words, modulate your pitch, tone, rate of speech and demonstrate grounded confidence
Margaret Thatcher achieved a good balance of ‘roar’ – demonstrating her knowledge of the subject and determination to stand her ground, even against popular opinion. Once her tone of voice was deepened and softened, it allowed her message to be heard.
The disparity is obvious: For men, roaring is much more straightforward – they make a stand and roar against all comers in defense. For women, however, knowing when to roar and how hard – and whether to bite or not, is all a judgment call – and it happens in the moment.
How can you pick the right time to demonstrate that you can be decisive and confident?
It’s not just what you say and how you say it, it’s also when you say it. If you make a stand too often, you don’t look decisive, you just look angry. So, choose your battles wisely!
Four Questions women should ask to get people to take you seriously:
1 – Is the clock ticking and does a decision need to be made, now? Or can this wait until I have more information? Don’t be afraid to seize the moment – but be sure you’re not giving others bullets to shoot you with down the road.
2 – Will decisiveness in this moment make me appear more impactful and garner respect, or will it come across as too aggressive? If needed, how can I temper my stance and still get what I want?
3 – Who do I need to get onside and what’s the best way of doing so? (Rarely should you call someone out in public – in general it’s less acceptable for a woman to call someone out in front of their peers – so only use that for serious Level 10 dramatic effect, otherwise, amplify your roar in a 1:1 setting.)
4 – Am I willing to follow through with the bite if needed? Never make an idle threat or take a stand that you aren’t committed to defending down the road. Shift to neutral, quickly scan your position from all angles to see how others might perceive you, and then be bold and let it rip! Take the tough decision and stick to it – let them see that the Lioness is really the one who matters in the jungle.
Used strategically and sparingly, a good ‘roar’ – being decisive and showing confidence in your voice – will build your gravitas and put you on the path for promotion.
For more tips about how to improve your presence and confidence in business, contact me or attend one of my workshops.
How to be confident and take a stand without being a ‘bitch’:
- Are you ready to ‘roar’ and make a real decision? If you’re ready to commit you must:
- Plant your feet in the moment of decision – make up your mind and be prepared to defend it;
- Let your voice be heard above the fray – be precise in your words, modulate your pitch, tone, rate of speech and demonstrate grounded confidence
Margaret Thatcher achieved a good balance of ‘roar’ – demonstrating her knowledge of the subject and determination to stand her ground, even against popular opinion. Once her tone of voice was deepened and softened, it allowed her message to be heard.
The disparity is obvious: For men, roaring is much more straightforward – they make a stand and roar against all comers in defense. For women, however, knowing when to roar and how hard – and whether to bite or not, is all a judgment call – and it happens in the moment.
How can you pick the right time to demonstrate that you can be decisive and confident?
It’s not just what you say and how you say it, it’s also when you say it. If you make a stand too often, you don’t look decisive, you just look angry. So, choose your battles wisely!
Four Questions women should ask to get people to take you seriously:
1 – Is the clock ticking and does a decision need to be made, now? Or can this wait until I have more information? Don’t be afraid to seize the moment – but be sure you’re not giving others bullets to shoot you with down the road.
2 – Will decisiveness in this moment make me appear more impactful and garner respect, or will it come across as too aggressive? If needed, how can I temper my stance and still get what I want?
3 – Who do I need to get onside and what’s the best way of doing so? (Rarely should you call someone out in public – in general it’s less acceptable for a woman to call someone out in front of their peers – so only use that for serious Level 10 dramatic effect, otherwise, amplify your roar in a 1:1 setting.)
4 – Am I willing to follow through with the bite if needed? Never make an idle threat or take a stand that you aren’t committed to defending down the road. Shift to neutral, quickly scan your position from all angles to see how others might perceive you, and then be bold and let it rip! Take the tough decision and stick to it – let them see that the Lioness is really the one who matters in the jungle.
Used strategically and sparingly, a good ‘roar’ – being decisive and showing confidence in your voice – will build your gravitas and put you on the path for promotion.
For more tips about how to improve your presence and confidence in business, contact me or attend one of my workshops.
