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7th April 2014Communication Breakdown: Five Mistakes Women Make Communicating at Work
We’re all communicating every day – speaking, writing, and our nonverbals – and we all make mistakes in our communications in the workplace. As an expert in communication and executive presence, one of the questions I’m most frequently asked is ‘How can I get them to understand?’
When someone asks that, what they usually mean is that their colleagues, boss, or employees are picking up a different meaning than they intend. Women seeking promotion or looking to the C-Suite need to be very aware of their communication signals – and the potential pitfalls.
When someone asks that, what they usually mean is that their colleagues, boss, or employees are picking up a different meaning than they intend. Women seeking promotion or looking to the C-Suite need to be very aware of their communication signals – and the potential pitfalls.
Are you sending the wrong signals unintentionally in what you say, how you write, or other nonverbals?
Do your own quick communication audit and see if you’re doing any of the following, and then follow my advice for how to send the right signals!
Five Communication Mistakes to Avoid:
1. You send brief but confusing e-mails.
Nothing breeds more confusion in the workplace than e-mail. It’s easy to simply write “OK” in response to a long message, but you may come across as dismissive or rude. Everybody’s in a time crunch with more emails in their inbox than they can clear. However, your communications should clarify, not confuse. Instead of immediately sending a quick reply (that may be informal, terse and potentially perplexing) it’s important to actually write a grammatically correct response that is succinct yet clear. As a woman, be especially sensitive that you don’t come across as ‘bitchy’ – easy to do. Also avoid emoticons and exclamation points in your emails, particularly when communicating with senior leaders as they’ll see it as unprofessional.
2. You always keep your door closed.
If you have a door, that is! This is a mistake men and women make. In today’s office environments, most people – even senior execs – have an open plan setting. So, if you do have a real door, the signals you send are even louder and, trust me, people are watching. People close their office doors for a host of legitimate reasons – confidential discussions, conference calls, etc. But if you keep your door shut all the time, it sends the message that you don’t want to be bothered — ever. So, if you want the quiet of a closed door, leave it slightly ajar and post a “Feel free to knock” outside. If you just have to focus and need to shut the door, you may want to find a conference room, or consider taping a message like, “Currently on deadline. Please leave me a note, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” If you explain the situation you run less risk of offending than by shutting out people completely.
3. You take the ‘casual’ in business casual too far
Oh, how business casual has created chaos. We’ve gone from ‘dress down Friday’ to teams that vote to dress-down every day. While you may be tempted to go casual, think about it strategically. As a woman, the rules are even more difficult to track and if you make a mistake, it’s rarely forgotten. You want to always dress one level above your current job – for the job you want, not the job you have. So if your boss is still business-dressing, so should you. No matter your situation, etiquette applies: that means no flip-flops, sweat suits, Uggs or tattered or revealing clothing. Remember – day clothes only. This is not the time to show off your “night on the town” clothes. You might think you are expressing your individuality, but more likely to be sending a signal that you’re not a serious professional.
4. You constantly wear headphones.
This is a rookie mistake for men and women alike, with men being the more common offender and younger people finding it more acceptable than the older generations. If you listen to tunes to help you focus, you are also telling co-workers that you prefer being alone or, worse, are not engaged with your projects. Hit the right note by going earbud-free at least part of the time.
5. You display overly personal items in your work area or have a messy work area.
Different people are inspired by different images. Just don’t forget, people make interpretations based on your desk space just as much as they do your wardrobe – so too ‘girly’ or messy is a no-go. When deciding what personal items you’ll have decorating your office or cubicle, the key is to give your space some “personality” while not inadvertently alienating or offending others. Avoid political posters, wild or wacky photos that you think are ‘fun’ but others thing are unprofessional, and anything too distracting or juvenile. Again, look at your boss and your boss’s boss – what does he/she have in the workspace? Follow the same course. Remember to keep it clean. A tidy space signals an organized person!
Create clear communication by realizing that what you do is just as important as what you say – and they’re watching and listening!
